Chapter 4 :
Contentment
Fear of loneliness and suffering
Part Two
For the single, we may fear that we will NEVER find a partner. It almost switches from the loneliness of not having a partner to the FEAR that not having a partner will mean a lonely life. This increases the intensity of our loneliness, which causes anxiety. Anxiety and worry leads us away from God, as we are no longer looking to God. Our fear should be reserved for God only. Deut 10:12 “And now, Israel, what does the Lord require of you? He requires you to fear Him, to live according to His will, to love and worship Him with all your heart and soul,” and also Ps 147: 11, “But the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His steadfast love.”
Fearing God is part of our worship, as it is also part of our obedience to Him. What we fear controls our actions. If I fear heights I stay away from them – regardless of whether I might fall off a cliff or not. The odds of me falling are usually very minimum, unless I choose to jump off. If I fear loneliness, it will govern my actions. I will get depressed, wall off my heart and become bitter and closed in etc. and perhaps get into all sorts of relationships, perhaps even immoral, to take away my loneliness. But that response is fruitless. Finding a partner cannot get rid of our loneliness, the same as having good friends around doesn’t. It might help for the moment, but when we get home or when our partner is away, or if we’re quarreling with our partner or other troubles are affecting us loneliness comes back. I think this is because fear returns to us, and it stirs up all these emotions.
